Two Little Lines – a microstory

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Two Little Lines

By 

Donna-Louise Bishop


She flinched as the roll-up, which had been stuck to her lip, ripped off a peeling of red-stained skin. Its shade was Sunset Lust, or so the shop assistant had informed her earlier that day, but now she thought it just looked cheap. Less lust, more lame.

The vibrations from the party music in her flat wiggled their way outside and onto the balcony where she stood alone, shivering in her strapless dress. It was mild for New Year’s Eve but it didn’t mean it wasn’t cold.

In one fluid motion she gulped the last of her wine and took one final drag of her cigarette, stinging the raw patch of skin again. Wedging it in between her thumb and middle finger, she flicked the butt into the darkness below.

She hadn’t planned to do the test until tomorrow morning. Ignorance is bliss, she thought. But now those two pink lines had changed everything. And despite the fear she felt, she knew next year would be the start of something wonderful.

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About Donna-Louise Bishop

I'm a writer, freelance reporter, creative writing tutor, and blogger, living in the beautiful county of Norfolk UK. In my spare time I am also a wife, a mother to three boys, and a human washing machine.
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11 Responses to Two Little Lines – a microstory

  1. Lovely, DL! The detail about her cigarette getting stuck to her lip reeled me in from the first line.

    • Donna-Louise Bishop says:

      Awesome! I’m so pleased. I just couldn’t get that image out of my head. I wonder if the ‘vaping’ generation will ever go through this trauma when smoking actual cigarettes?

  2. innatejames says:

    She has to escape her own house to get a chance to celebrate. The setting was like another character.

    • Donna-Louise Bishop says:

      I could see it really clearly in my mind. I think I like this character and setting… they may have to be brought to life again in another story.

  3. The wine and cigarette were a great way to express your protagonist’s mixed feelings about the pregnancy. It especially jumped out that instead of throwing the wine away (now knowing that she was pregnant), this character gulped it down. There are a million ways to interpret that gesture, and I was left with many ideas about what this woman’s experience of motherhood would be.

    • Donna-Louise Bishop says:

      I think I was too. It could be a last ‘hurrah’ or maybe the start of a rocky path to motherhood. I think I wanted to leave it open because I was so unsure myself.

  4. Christine says:

    This is a *really* great example of using details to tell your story. You didn’t need to spend a lot of time in your character’s head. I like that you took it from sinister to joyful rather than the other way around.

  5. The imagery was fantastic. The stinging, the reds, the cold, the vibrating music. All of it, for me, seemed to show trying to escape but you cant, but then why not that one last hurrah (gulp that wine) and go o. For the ride and not fight it.

    • Donna-Louise Bishop says:

      Thanks for your comments. I really enjoyed playing around with the imagery so I’m chuffed to bits it worked for you.

  6. d3athlily says:

    DL! This was just perfect. The details you used were spot-on, and showed rather than told what was happening with your character. New beginnings indeed! Xx

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